Molly's Friday and Weekend Goals

Happy Friday!

I weighed in at 170.6, which isn't too surprising. I didn't do hardly any cardio this week, drank probably an average of 1.5 bottles of water every day, didn't track my calories very well and had Dos Hombres for dinner last night. I could not stop eating the chips and salsa!

I've been thinking a lot about this weekend and what partying like it's 1999 will do to my diet/motivation/mental health. I've been a little worried that if I drink a ton (or just enough) it will send me into yet another tailspin of depression. I talked about this a little with Lori yesterday and I've realized that alcohol is not the only factor, in fact it's only a minor factor. My state of mind before I start drinking and the people I'm around make a huge difference. And this is just a party with a bunch of fun people and one of my closest friends in the world. People I know I don't have to be anything but myself around and they still love me. What happened in January was a very different situation. I was already feeling down through most of the holidays. I had forgotten to take my anti-depressants, so I was feeling the effects of that, there were people I felt obligated to try to see while in Denver and also obligated to come across as if everything was hunky-dory, and to top it all off I had a cold. [Just for the record, Mallory you are not one of those people I feel obligated to try to be happy around. I know I can be real around you. I just have a very hard time reaching out to people when I get down like that.] Today I feel good and I've felt good for the last couple weeks. I'm on top of my "everything is survivable, no really it is" pills, and I'm excited to see my friends and have a fun weekend away.

So, I'm still setting some goals for myself because, well, I just do better when I do. That's some good English.

Goals for today:

Make smart eating choices before I get to Fairplay.
Take a sandwich in the car so I don't feel the need for fast food
drink at least 2 bottles of water

Goals for this weekend:

Adhere to the mantra buzzes are good, barfing is bad
Don't stress about the weather. It's going to do what it's going to do.
Relax and enjoy myself.
Try to remember to drink water in between adult beverages.

Thanks for letting me explain my neurosis! I hope everyone has a great weekend! I will see you all back here on Monday! :)

Not weighing LOL

Justin was letting me sleep in this morning and I woke up and was trying to go back to sleep and as I was laying there I could feel how swollen my feet are! So, I haven't been drinking water or anything really other than diet soda.

Today's goal:

Drink water 4 bottles
track calories

This week

I have been pretty happy with my week so far. It hasn't been perfect. In fact, I ate dessert (way too much sugar, don't know how to break this addiction) after dinner every night except when I actually wrote it as my goal not to. Lori, you hit the nail on the head when you said what you eat affects how you feel. When I eat better I feel better and then if you throw in a little exercise then I feel even better. And that's how I've felt this week. I haven't felt so blah and sluggish as I have been feeling. If I know how much better I feel when I'm healthy then why is it so easy to slip up and be unhealthy? I weighed 144.8 this morning.

At the beginning of this year I set a goal for myself to run/jog from my house to the corner and back (about 3.5 miles). As of Monday this week I had not run a single step. But on Tuesday I took a running step and started working towards my goal. I would like to run at least twice a week and will be able to run (even if it is really slow) to the corner and back by April.

Goals for today:
drink 3 bottles of water
exercise (jog at least 15 minutes)
don't go overboard at dinner tonight

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

I'm back

Well, I've been back since Sunday, but still kinda just out of it. Brielle has been pretty challenging lately and I haven't been able to be on the computer w/o her on my lap and trying to crawl into the monitor. Anyway, the baby shower was... well.... beautiful. We'll leave it at that. However, you know how it is when you're traveling and eating at other people's houses and whatnot. I think we had pasta for every meal and for breakfast we had pastries. Yum, but man! I can't tell you how terrible I was feeling b/c of all the sugar in my system and lack of protein. I wanted to wretch most of the time we were there. But things are sooo much better being back home. It's amazing how food really affects how I (and I assume most people) feel. It makes me wonder if I felt this horrible before I started eating better all the time.

Anyway, my weight this morning was 149.8. Not bad, but still 1.8 lbs up.

I'm having a problem with motivation lately. And the fact that I'm having problems with the gym daycare. I completely understand Tammi what you mean when you don't feel like there's a point to eating great if you're not working out. I know that 80% of weight loss is what you eat and only 20% is working out, but it's still hard to convince myself sometimes. And when I don't track what I'm eating, I tend to eat way too many calories.

Wednesday/Thursday/Friday Thoughts

I did well with my eating today and I even got a little bit of exercise. I went walking with April after working all morning. I'm not doing so hot in the water drinking department, unfortunately. I've only had about 3 glasses of water today. I'm going to try to drink a bottle of water before bed, but it's so hard to do when it's cold.

Tomorrow I'm planning to get up early. I'm hoping to get up and catch the sunrise. It's cloudy tonight, so I'm hoping the sunrise will be interesting. Then I'm going to pilates at 9:15 (Lori, if you're not doing kickboxing, how about pilates?)

Tomorrow is my dad's 60th birthday, so we're going out to dinner to the Texas Roadhouse because they have delicious steaks. The down side is that they also have delicious bread with delicious honey butter. My mouth is watering just thinking about it...

And then, on Friday I'm heading up to Fairplay for a birthday party, emphasis on PAR-TAY. This particular group of people know how to party like rock stars and I fear it's not going to be a good weekend for healthy eating. I know it's all about choices and all, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to choose to drink a margarita or three...

Wednesday's wonders

This doesn't have anything to do with weight loss . . . I wonder why my second graders want to do the crime but not the time. Had criers out in the hall today writing an I'm sorry note to the substitute because of their behavior while she was there. Nothing irratates me more to have them cry because they are in trouble. Just write the letter and be done with it. Little guy, Cory, drug it out until the bell rang.

OK, that is all about my job.

Goals: (for the rest of the evening) I need to drink 2 more bottles of water and eat. I have 1,042 calories left to eat today.
Take care, everyone.

Tuesday evening stuff

It was so frightening being at the hospital with Samantha. Thank goodness she is home without oxygen. My little darling is such a fighter. Weighed this morning and I was at 178.6. YES! Eight more pounds and I'll be considered fat, not obese. That is something to strive for.

goals: drink water, drink water, drink water

Good Wednesday to all!

Tuesday Adventures

Today I tried something new: pilates. And I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it. It was hard and I couldn't do a lot of the moves, but I know I'll get stronger if I stick with it. And it was much more my style than, say, kickboxing. The lights were dim and there was soft music and I was in control of my movement. I know I'm comparing apples and oranges here and I'm not saying will never kickboxing again. I just really enjoyed pilates. I left with the feeling that I had a good core strengthening workout and I never felt like I might hurl or die. I'm going to try to start going every Tuesday and Thursday morning.

Goals for today:
track calories
stay under limit
drink 2 more bottles of water (I've had one already)

Monday Madness

So, I took Samantha to the hospital at 3 am this morning. Needless to say, I didn't weigh myself this morning, so I don't know how I am doing. I am trying not to stress eat and so far so good, I only have 450 calories left for dinner though.

Goal:

Make a decent choice for dinner
drink water

Molly's Meh Monday

I have so many things I need to do today and not much desire to do any of them. Things I've been putting off for days. And I have things I actually want to do. I'm trying to use those as a reward for doing the things I don't want to do, but need to get done. Pretty much nothing is getting done. I'm having some anxiety about some of these things and I know I'll feel better if I just do them. My mood would probably improve, too. I really hate when I do this.

Anyway, I did weigh myself today. It was a special time between a girl and her scale. 170.0. So much for keeping it under 170. But it is still down from last Monday by .6, so it's still a loss over the course of a week, which is good. Focus on the positive, right?

Goals for today:

drink 3 bottles of water
work out
track calories

All or Nothing

It seems I have an all or nothing attitude that needs a little bit of adjusting. For example, if I fail to exercise one day I say, "screw it, I didn't exercise so why be good, I can eat whatever I want." Or, I may eat too much at lunch and the rest of the day I say, "doesn't matter what I eat now, I already messed up my eating plan for the day." It's like my mind is saying I have to be absolutely perfect or I'm going to be totally bad. But that's not what it's about, all or nothing. It's really about the choices that we make. Who cares if I screw up at breakfast, I can choose to be healthy at lunch and throughout the rest of the day. See, I really know this and I've known it for a long time but it's another matter altogether trying to follow it.

On to some good things from this weekend. Overall I did well. I ate too much sugar but I didn't overeat like I usually tend to do on the weekends. I was active all weekend long going for a bike ride on Saturday and then going for a walk and playing frisbee on Sunday. And I drank more water than I have been, not enough but on the right track. My Monday weight is 146.0.

Goals for today:

drink 2.5 bottles of water

be active

not eat anything after dinner

Sugar Sugar

I'm having some confusion about sugar intake. Ever since Livestrong.com changed the daily plate and with it the recommendations of various things based on your calorie goals, I've been feeling unsure about my sugar intake. There's not a daily recommended allowance for sugar, but per livestong, "experts advise a maximum of 40g of refined sugar per 2000 calories consumed."

I know that refined sugar is bad. In particular, sucrose. And it seems from what I've read that added sugar = refined sugar. (sorry, I'm kinda working this out as I go, so bear with me here.) So, really my confusion comes down to the livestrong tracking. They're tracking all sugar, including sugar in fruit and milk, which is not bad. (unless you're eating 4000 calories of fruit, but I think you're going to have some other issues if you're doing that...)

I guess, here's my issue: this morning, for example, I had Cheerios with milk and sliced banana. And wham-o my sugar number is already over the limit for the day. The recommended number from livestrong is 25g of sugar for my 1268 calorie goal. From the milk in my cereal and coffee and my medium sized banana, I had 29g of sugar. Should I ignore these sugars? I don't think I should. I think it's probably good to count them. One article I was reading said not to worry about the sugar from milk and fruit. That's all fine and great, but livestrong is counting them. And it really bugs me that my sugar number turns bright red first thing in the morning when I'm not even doing anything wrong. Maybe I should take this up with livestrong? Maybe I shouldn't worry about it? I'm pretty aware of what I eat and I read labels like they're the latest best seller. Does anyone have any thoughts?

Sunday Goals

Today's goals:

Track what I eat
drink 5 bottles of water (extra to help flush out the damage I have done)


Samantha has a fever, so I will be holding her for the rest of the day probably, but I plan on just hanging out and getting some laundry done.

I am working on some more specific goals. I'll post them all later, plus a goal sheet to post on my fridge so I can keep my goals in mind.

Saturday Evening Thoughts

I know, I have a happening night life don't I? Here I am posting on the weight loss blog on a Saturday night. I have been thinking a lot about why I am not doing as well as I did. The only real difference that I can figure out is that I told myself and everyone else that if I didn't lose the weight I was going to pay to do LA Weightloss, Slim4Life etc. That really seemed to be a big motivator more than having rewards for myself.

Additionally, I have a habit of taking on more things than I can handle. I want to work out, get exercise for the kids, fix healthy meals and snacks for them and me, keep everything picked up, have the kids I watch a million hours a week, bake things for justin's work, be team leader of our march of dimes group, plan my mother's 60th birthday blowout, I started making my own yogurt, and making homemade granola, make sure Justin eats healthy, etc. I think part of what I am missing is I am not focusing on me. I really need to make MY health a priority for the next couple months and then I can add more as we go. I still am not going to feed the kids hotdogs and processed meats, and I will try to make granola, but I am not going to worry too much.

I have not had dedication to tracking. I am going to try for my 60 day tracking badge.

The thing is the same as it always has been, I know what I need to do. I know what works for my body. I need to DO it.

So, here's the challenge for myself. My challenge is to lose the extra 15 pounds by my birthday. Not "I want to" not "wouldn't it be great" but:

I AM GOING TO DO IT OR JOIN A WEIGHT LOSS GROUP

The thing is I CAN. I know I can, I believe in myself when I am dedicated. I love the fact that I know I have control over my body.

Here are a few good things about losing another 15 pounds

I will be in the 100's instead of the 200's!! (Which I haven't been certainly in the time I have been married)
I will have lost 50 pounds total which is over 50% of my total goal
I will be overweight instead of obese (whoo hooo!)
Hopefully my size 16 clothes will fit better instead of just being a tad too tight.

Last weekend I bought a "Goal Size" dress (see above), it is a flowery summer dress and it would be great to wear it this summer. It's a size 10, which dresses are always rough because of my large chest. So we will see. LOL.

That's all I can think of for now!

How much water?

Well, yesterday afternoon instead of reaching for my second cup of coffee (with cream and sugar, of course) I reached for my water bottle. It is a small step and it is in the right direction. By the way, when you say 2 or 3 bottles of water, how much are you really drinking? What is the right amount or a good amount to drink everyday? Is it still the recommended 8 - 8oz glasses?

Goals for today:

drink lots of water

be active (already accomplished, went for a nice long bike ride with my family)

Molly's Saturday Goals

Just to back up to yesterday for a second, I did accomplish about half of my goals. I drank half the water I wanted to, tracked my calories (they were a few hundred over again), and had a healthy and tasty dinner.

Ok, goals for today:

Drink 3 bottles of water
work out
track calories

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Molly's Friday Weigh-In

169.6. Down a pound from Monday and down .6 from last Friday. So, it's still an overall loss, but I'm a little annoyed at myself. I went a little crazy with the potato chips last night at craft night. And I knew better. Every time I took a bite I kept thinking how much I was going to regret it in the morning. Then I accidentally dipped a potato chip into the delicious cream cheese fruit dip that Lori made and I really couldn't stop myself. Salty and sweet together is my favorite!! Too bad my fingers look breakfast sausages this morning.

In other news, I'm really really sore from kickboxing. But I know I'm getting stronger. Class yesterday was super hard, but I almost made to the first drink break without having to stop and get water before that. That was kind of huge for me! And just in general, this past week I've started to feel better about my body. My jeans are fitting better, I have a waist again, and I feel stronger and a little more confident. And I said on Monday that my goal was to actually stay under 170 this week and you know what, I did that! Yay!

Goals for today:
Drink 3 bottles of water
track calories
make a tasty and healthy dinner

Mallory's Friday Weigh In

ARG. So I weighed myself this morning and it was 219.8. Up from my last weigh in. I totally know I need to track and drink water. I would say that in the past two days I have had two bottles of water. I also ate sugar. So, today I have two simple goals that I need to do:


Track food
Drink water (4 bottles)

Hello

Hi, my name is Tammi and I am addicted to sugar. And I also love food! I love to cook and bake and I love to eat. I am seriously lacking any kind of motivation in my life right now. I know how to eat healthy and I know how to exercise but neither seem to be getting done these days. I don't feel like I am that overweight (and I know I'm not) but I do feel rather unhealthy. I'm hoping that by joining you guys it will be the first step in becoming aware of me and what I need to do to feel better. From what I gather you guys do weigh ins on Friday and Monday so here it is. I weighed 147 this morning (like I said, I'm not that overweight but according to my BMI, I am in the overweight category). Right now my goal is to be 140 and feel healthy. Feeling healthy is the more important goal to me.

Thank you for letting me join you guys in this journey!

My goal today:

drink 3 bottles of water

Thursday

Wahoo for Thursdays :) I love them b/c there's always kick-it in the mornings! Of course it was supposed to be Paula this morning and it was Andrea instead... but ah well. Maybe Paula will be back on Monday.

So I chambered my kicks today (Basically turned them into 'knees' instead of true kicks) and my back feels way better than on Monday. Of course, I didn't burn near as many calories which stinks, but I'll take it.

Anyway, this morning's weight was the same as yesterday, which is good considering the candy issue from yesterday...

Goals:
drink 4 bottles of water
keep active - which shouldn't be hard considering all I have to do still today.
don't overindugle tonight at girl's night... this is the hard one for me.
clean out my car. All I can say is Ewww.
There are a lot of other things to do on my to-do list, but you probably don't really want a run down of my boring day of cleaning, cleaning, packing, cleaning, laundry, cleaning, etc. ;)

Gettin'-r-Done Thursday

It's not even noon and I've been to the gym and the car wash! I figured I better stop at the car wash on my way home because I may not be able to use my arms tomorrow thanks to kickboxing class...

Goals for today:
go for a walk with April
track calories, keep net calories within livestrong limits
find something crafty to do tonight
Drink Water - AT LEAST 3 bottles

hope everyone has a good day!

Molly's Wednesday

167.6!! That's unofficially 10.2 pounds lost from when I really started trying back in October. If I can hold onto it until Friday, it will be official. It seems like a long time, but with the holidays and everything in there, I'm just happy to be back on track and focused on moving forward.

Goals for today:

drink 3 bottles of water
track calories, stay under 1300
clean bathroom and bedroom
I probably won't go to the gym today either - I'm going to put on my headphones and clean and maybe have a dance party. Plus, I need to save my energy for Thursday morning kickit!

Post something on my new photography blog:

http://evolutionofmolly.blogspot.com

I started it in January and then I got really side tracked and insecure about it, so I didn't tell anybody. But Tammi stumbled across it, so it's out there in the universe for people to see and I might as well do something with it.

I heart Wednesdays

It seems Wednesdays are always good :) lol

147.4 this morning. Yay!

Goals for today:
Stay with cleaning schedule - my house finally feels like it's starting to get caught up... right in time for me to leave this weekend and come back and it be wrecked ;)
4 btls of water
track calories *throughout* the day, not just after dinner and then try to remember everything I ate

I probably won't make it to the gym today, but will be there tomrrow a.m. Molly!

Water the miracle drink

179.4 YES! below 180.

Fat Tuesday

What a great name for today. I weighed yesterday and I was 181.? Today, before work, I weighed 183.4. Darn!! Very proud of myself because we had professional development all day and one of the presenters kept putting handfuls of candy on everyone's table. I sat there all day with Dot's, yummmmmmmmmmmmmm, staring me in the face and wasn't even tempted. Also, drank 3 bottles of water yesterday and 3 today. Wow, the first time in forever that I have done that. It was great to read everyone's blogs tonight.
Goal: exercise tomorrow
3 bottles of water
keep carbs down

Lori - Tuesday

Hey all :)
148.2 this morning, so .4 down from yesterday. Eh, I thought I had more water than that, but ah well, no big deal.

I checked my bmi today and I found something out - I thought that 135 was the lowest bmi deemed "normal" for my height (b/c that's what it says on the wall chart in my OB's office), but according to the bmi calculator, it's 125. Odd. That seems a little too skinny to me. But you never know I suppose. I remember my mom telling me that she was 115 all through high school and she's only 2 inches shorter than me. So, since each inch is supposed to equate to 5 lbs, that would be 125 for me. Crazy eh?

SOOOOO... in other news.... I'm considering doing a sprint triathalon this summer. It's 3 miles of running, 14 miles of biking, and I can't remember on the swimming part.... I'm considering it, but I'm not sure if I want to commit to it or not.

Goals:
Stop eating everything! lol I've been bad today about snacking on stuff when I'm hungry vs making a meal and eating it.
4 btls of water
make a healthy lunch and dinner... yes, it's 1:17 and I still haven't made lunch for me yet. Arg.

OH - and our friend Tammi might be joining us too! For those of you not PHS alum, Tammi went to school with us also, but we'll have her introduce herself if she joins :)

Tuesday

168.8, down 1.8 from yesterday. I only had 2 bottles of water (64 ounces total), but it must have been enough to rinse out whatever nasty salt I was hanging on to. So, once again, the challenge is to keep my weight below 170. I think this is the third week in a row that my Monday weight has been over 170 and my Tuesday weight is under. And every week my Friday weight has been back up over 170. This is my week - I am going to do this!!

Goals for today:
go to Body Flow class at gym
track calories, within limit
drink 3 bottles of water
Do laundry

Water, the miracle weight loss drug!

So today's weight was 219.4, down 3 pounds from yesterday. Thank goodness for water!

Today's goals:

Write thank you letter to my Grandma
Drink 4 waters
Under 30g sugar
under 1400 cal
workout

Mallory's Monday

Oy Vey! So this weekend was terrible and wonderful all at the same time. I was having an internal debate about weighing myself. I went a little crazy, I don't think we cooked all weekend, and let me tell you, I really missed it by last night. I feel sick to my stomach and bloated and headachy. But I take it as a good thing because now I am pretty motivated to do what I should be doing!!

My weight this morning was 222.4 lol it could have been worse but it also could have been way way better!

Today's goals:

drink 4 water
stay under 30 g sugar
1200-1400 cal
work on cleaning list

Molly's Monday

I weighed in this morning at 170.6, up .4 from Friday. I'm ok with that. I had a huge dinner with my family last night and dessert, which was relatively healthy as far as desserts go. But still.

Goals for today:

Drink 3 bottles of water
do laundry
track calories, keep it under 1300

2/15/10 Lori and reflections

So, Aaron and I had our first date 13 years ago today. Crazy, eh? 13 yrs brings a lot of stuff with it, but I'm so happy things have worked out like they have!

This morning I was 148.6, which is .6 up from Wednesday last week. I'm super happy with that since Wed and Thur were all about baking, spaghetti for dinner last night, and lack of quality gym time. To top it off, I really haven't been drinking much water, so I'm happy and hoping that if I drink a lot today and tomorrow that I'll be even lower than Wed.

I also have to share a personal victory for me. I went shopping for a new dress to wear to my SIL's babyshower this weekend in Phoenix. All of the dresses I tried on were 8's and none of them were too small. In fact, some of them were too big. (I've always worn a smaller dress size than pant size. Those stupid thighs.) Anyway, I wanted a 6 in a certain dress, but they didn't have it, so they brought the 4 out. Seriously, the 4!?!? Who do you think I am? Anyway.... it fit. And I bought it. There's no way I'm a "real" 4 - any other the other dresses in a 4 wouldn't have zipped at all, I'm sure it's just this dress b/c it has sorta an elasticy back. But still. I want to wear it inside out, LOL!


Update - ok, this has taken me forever to write. I started at like 8 this morning. ANyway, I went to the gym this morning and did kickit. Molly - I missed you! :( Maybe Thursday? This was the first time that I have done it in about a month b/c of my back. My back has been feeling like 75% better, which is fantastic, so I thought that I'd try it. The first half of class I didn't really chamber any of my kicks, and I totally regret it. The 2nd half my back was really hurting and I had to chamber all of them and even jumping jacks made it hurt. I think that on Thur I will go again, but I will take it way easier in the beginning. But ya know, you never want to be the one not doing it, especially when you're one of the "regulars" or people who have been going for a year. BUT it's better than hurting my back more or being in pain.


Yay! It's going to be a great day girls!
Here are my goals for today:
work out - check
drink lots of water
track calories (approx 1250)
CLEAN MY HOUSE - If I get this accomplished and nothing else, then I'll be happy. Geez, how'd it get this bad?!?!?! I'm tempted to take all the stuff that's on the counters, floors, etc. and just trash it all.

Valentine's Day Thoughts

I made myself get out of bed this morning and go to the gym. It was a good decision. I used the elliptical and I really pushed myself. And oh my goodness did I sweat. It was gross and awesome. So, when I was driving home and listening to the DJ talk about V-Day, I had a thought. Valentines Day, like Christmas, should be about the spirit of the holiday; about letting those you love and who love you know that you care about and appreciate them.

So right off, I want to tell you all that I care about you. I care about this journey that we are on together. And I deeply appreciate all of your support, not only with weightloss stuff, but just life in general. Lori and Mallory in particular, I am so thankful for your friendship!

The other thing I thought, and this comes after reflecting on our various posts about internal motivation and being happy with yourself, is that from now on, Valentines Day will also be a day to show myself some love by doing something that makes me feel good and betters my life. I showed me that I love me by taking myself to the gym. And I felt so good when I was done there.

And the last thing is that from now on I want to make an effort to let the people in my life that matter know that I care. And instead of focusing on the negative and the people that aren't worth the worry (which is what I've done for most of my life) I want to really try to focus on who and what is worth the worry.

Wow, this post ended up being kind of mushy and touchy-feely. Sorry about that. I hope everyone had a good weekend!

Feelin' Better

Yesterday I was finally able to breathe through my nose for the majority of the time!! We're talkin' both nostrils clear and I only had to blow it a couple times! Woo hoo!! I've been sick for so long that I forgot how great it is to be able to breathe normally. And my senses of smell and taste are back, which is nice.

And now that I've shared way too much about my nose, on to the real purpose of this post. I weighed in today at 170.2. That's down .2 from last Friday!! I'm pleasantly surprised. I haven't really been eating all that well lately or drinking enough water. And I haven't been tracking much. And I haven't worked out in two weeks. Granted, I've been sick and my appetite hasn't been what it normally is, but I figured it would be higher. I'm so happy it's not!! Plus last night I'm pretty sure I drank enough sugar in this delicious sugary punch that Leasa made to keep a small nation in cupcakes for years. I had one heck of a sugar high!

I'm kind of rambling today, but I think I'm ready to set some goals and try to stick to them.

Drink at least 2 bottles of water
track calories
stay under 1300

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday, so I'm going to try to get a workout in before dinner and cake. I'm kind of excited to get back to working out.

No Friday weigh in for me

The last two days have been spent baking and crafting and cooking and doing dishes and not much water drinking. And a lot of cookie eating. So, today I'm not weighing in and I'll just try it on Sunday maybe. I've already started my first bottle of water, so I'm off to a waaay better start than the last two days.

Goals for today:
lots and lots of water
track my calories
get rid of the last few cookies I have in my house, by not eating them and giving them away
calories btwn 1250 and 1300
Get some form of exercise

I hope you all have a good weekend!

Mallory's Friday Weigh In

So my weight this morning was 219.4. Yikes! That's up 4.4 lbs. So here's the deal: I ate Wendy's for dinner last night and I made cookies. I am having a really hard time sticking to my eating all day. I do really good in the morning but by the end of the day I am back to having a hard time.

Here is what I decided: I am going to not feel guilty this weekend, then next week I am going to really work hard. I am taking a guilt free three days and I will try not to go crazy but I am tired of being only half good and half dedicated and then feeling bad about it.

Also, I took a couple of days without caffeine and I felt terrible. I don't know if I will drink any today but I need to think about that too.

Weigh in Friday

182.8 down a little from Monday. I consider that a MAJOR accomplishment due to the fact that I have suckers, M&M's, sugar cookies and Skittles in my house and I didn't eat any of it. It is all going to school to today for my kids Valentine's Day party. Last night, as I did their cards, I kept telling my self one sucker wouldn't hurt. I ate a half of grapefruit instead. So, it doesn't matter if I'm only down .6 of a pound, I didn't eat sugar. Now if I could just drink the water I need to drink. Everyone have a good day ahd hang in there. We are strong women:-)

Bye Bye Bread,Sugar, and Energy Drinks

On Monday, swim instructor told me I had to cut out bread and sugar. Normally I would take this as a suggestion, but did I mention that he is Russian, and very scary?! So i have not eaten any bad carbs in 3 days. The good news is that I have lost 4 pounds. I'll take it.

I just have to take a moment to acknowledge that I was wrong about something. Even when I use to be thin and workout and eat right I never believed in the "energy" that exercise supposedly gave you. I have always thought it was a myth. I also have been an avid Energy Drinker. I have cut the drinks as of two weeks ago and on Tuesday I felt my first mood enhancer from exercise. Couldn't believe it. I don't know if its the swimming or getting off of Energy drinks, but I feel awesome! Maybe its the combination of both, I'm not sure, but I feel great all of a sudden. So there is is, exercise does help. Now I have no excuses.

Posting

So, Lori pointed out that I hadn't been posting as much. So I am going to post now and then for sure on Friday. I am having a hard time with my motivation, I feel like I am constantly playing catch up with everything and then if I get behind it's all over and I am in over my head.

I have been trying to not have much processed foods so I can keep the sodium and everything down, but then it just seems like I am constantly doing dishes etc. I was keeping up on my cleaning list and it was really good.

So yesterday I ate everything in sight. It was terrible I ended the day with almost 2000 cal, and I didn't even track everything. :( Today has been a better day so far.

2/10/10

Happy birthday to my MIL (not that she reads this, but ya know).

And Happy Day to me! This morning I was at 148.0. Officially my lowest weight. Ev-er.

Last night I did get to the gym. After about 30 mins on the treadmill, my back was aching... but I was watching the Biggest Loser and I wanted to finish the show, so I kept going. After awhile, the ache was gone, or at least not noticeable at the time. I ended up doing 70 mins on the treadmill and then did some low weight reps. One of the things I like the most about Crossroads is that the upstairs weight room is geared for women :)

I am doing a bunch of baking today and tomorrow and I'm going to try to stay away from taste testing everything. Whewwww - that is a tall order for myself, but I'm now more motivated seeing that 148 this morning.

Also, I've decided that my new goal (b/c today I hit my bodybugg goal of losing 12 lbs!!!) is going to be to get to 140.0. I'm not going to go crazy about it, but I think I'm going to see how much of that 8 lbs I can lose before my SIL's baby shower in a week and a half.

Goals:
Don't eat the cookies!
Drink lots of water
Calories bwtn 1250 and 1300
Keep active throughout the day - I won't be able to work out, but I'm hoping to still burn quite a few calories just at home.

Tuesday the 9th

I am having a hard time drinking water during the day and I need help. The past two days I have only had two of my Sigg water bottles of water. I'm drinking water now, and I drank a bottle at the gym; however, this has to change. Does anyone have any suggestions? HELP! My other goals are going great!! I did see a bag of jelly beans at Safeway when I was getting groceries and I wanted to rip it open and start shoving them in my mouth. I refrained myself:-)
Goals for Wednesday: DRINK 3 bottles of water
Exercise 30 minutes
NO sugar

Monday

This morning was 150.0 - wahoo! Yesterday I forgot to post, but I was 153.4, which I didn't think was that bad considering my last week of no water and not watching my food too closely. However, looks like I didn't do quite as bad as I thought :)

I'm hoping tomorrow I'll be back in the 140's, which would be exciting for me. I'm also hoping that I'll find time to get to the gym today and just do some elliptical.

I hope you're all having a great day!

Grumpy Monday

I forgot to weigh myself this morning. I slept like crap. I have a sinus infection and I'm going to the doctor this afternoon. They'll weigh me there. Last time I went to the doctor was about a year ago and I'm pretty sure I'll weigh about the same. That's kind of a downer. The thing is, I feel like crap and don't really care. I'll be happy to get rid of this crap and get on with life. It'll be nice to not have to blow my nose constantly and actually have some energy again. Ugh.

Monday Weigh In

this morning's weight 219.0

I didn't drink any water and we went out to eat 2 times. All in all I don't think it was too bad. Yes it was up 4 pounds but as long as I stick to the plan today I should be ok.

Plan:
Drink water
Follow cleaning plan
Stay within calories
do sparkpeople exercise

Monday Morning Blues

Good morning. I am going to be late to work this morning; however, I was so moved and inspired by your words this morning I had to write. I also smiled, which is a good way to start out a Monday. Thanks for that. I am exactly my weight that I was on Friday, good for a weekend, I think. I'm always worse one the weekends and when there is family in town and family committments to go to. Ate no sugar and exercised on Saturday, not Sunday.
I am so impressed by the wisdom from you all. I was no where near this wise at your age. What impressive women you are!!
As I read Molly's blog I was reminded of a book I read a long time ago titled The Four Agreements. I think it might give some perspective about other people and your relationship with them. It is a weird book, you have to ignore the weirdness, and just concentrate on the 4 agreements that you should make with yourself. The hardest agreement for me is the one about always tell the truth, especially telling the truth to myself.

goals: 3 bottles of water
30 minutes of exercise
no sugar

More Realizations

I apologize in advance for how long winded and middle-schooler-ish this this post is. It started out as a response to Mallory's post, but I decided to just make it a seperate post. It's not directly related to weight-loss, but it speaks to what Mallory was talking about regarding validating yourself and not waiting around for other people to make me feel good about myself. Cuz it's never going to happen. And I'm never going to lose weight and keep it off if I'm doing it for other people. I have to do it for me.

So, here's what happened: I played bunco last weekend with some family friends. And I grew up with these people, but we were never really friends. Our moms worked together and so we were around each other a lot. In particular I felt excluded and not good enough for the girls of this group. And in my head I guess I thought I was better friends with the boys of this group because we were in 4-H together and I just thought we had some sort of bond. Not saying we were BFFs, or anything, or that we ever spent time together of our own free wills, just that I thought we were friends. So, at this thing the other night, I'm not sure what I expected. I guess I expected that we're all adults now and they would want to know what's going in my life. Because I was curious what was going on with them. Boy was I wrong. After the initial pleasantries, we had nothing to talk about. I tried to ask questions and got one word answers. Even when I asked about their children. Most people are happy to gush about their kids. And all of the sudden I was that insecure little girl again. So, I spent a few days wondering why I wasn't good enough for them. And I finally realized that they have their lives and I have mine and we are probably never going be friends. And just because they are not overly friendly, doesn't mean that it's a reflection on me. I don't know why I thought it would be some magical thing and we would all be the best of friends after nearly 30 years of not really being friends. It's ok that we're not buddy-buddy-friends. In fact, it doesn't change a damn thing. And I cannot let other people dictate how I feel about myself. I see them once every 5 years or so. Why did I just spend 3 days of my life that I'll never get back worrying about this?? Seriously. I need to try to remember that first and foremost, I need to like me. Because if I don't like myself and want to take care of myself, no one else is going to want to, either. (Is this starting to sound like an after-school special to anyone else??) And I'm a little frustrated that I have to keep re-learning this lesson. But I guess that's life; maybe I'll remember it this time...

Anyway, that's what this weight-loss business is all about - taking care of myself because I need to and want to. And I am the one who is going to make myself feel good about me. With a little help from you guys. :)

Birthday Party and Realizations

Yesterday I went to a birthday party with family that I haven't seen since I started my weight loss. They were all very amazed and complimentary. It was what I had been waiting for since I started this. I have just been waiting for the day when I walked into a room and everyone told me how great I looked. That's exactlly what happened.

Please don't take this the wrong way (It was great) but it was not quite what I expected. I am not trying to sound ungreatful or never satisfied but it was odd. I walked in and said hi to everyone, everyone said I looked great, and then it was over. Everything after that was just normal them and normal me. I am not sure quite what I expected, maybe that I would be the shining star of the party and everyone would fight over me to have my attention, bringing me drinks and the best grapes in the land while fanning me with palm fronds. Ok, maybe that took it a little too far, I probably wasn't expecting that.

But, really it didn't matter. I have to lose weight for me and find my own happiness. People's comments didn't stop me from binge eating yesterday. Sigh. It will always be hard, I will always be the one responsible for my own choices, and I will always have a choice to make.

I have been logging into sparkpeople and using it to plan my exercise and they have tons of stuff, but here are some quotes I came across that I liked:

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results."

“Most barriers to your success are man-made. And most often, you’re the man who made them.”

Fantasy: One Day it's Going to Click?

Getting this out of the way, haven't lost an ounce, in fact, I think I think I'm up a couple pounds, but I am not weighing right now. I've had some interesting things happen this week that I thought I would share.
Do you ever think that there has to be something wrong with you,and that is why you're not losing weight? You go see Doctor after Doctor and you're just waiting for them to say "here's the issue" and magically you lose 100 pounds. I am in a fantasy land that is just waiting for the problem to be diagnosed. My swim instructor, Alexi (swoon), told me that I absolutely without a doubt had to go see this Dr. Kim. He was so persistent that I was pretty much forced to do it. I made an appointment and surprisingly got in the same day (that never happens). I wasn't sure exactly what kind of Dr. he was since Alexi has kind of broken English, and couldn't describe his technique very well. Come to find out he is a Chiropractor, that also does energy allergy testing (clinical name escapes my mind). Very interesting stuff. He tests your muscle resistance and certain supplements to determine what your body is lacking or getting too much of. He pushed on my arms, bent them funny ways, and tested all types of foods to see how my muscle reflex reacted. I went in thinking that this was all a gimmick and that he was going to tell me how unhealthy I am and try to sell me bottles and bottles of supplements. Total opposite happened. He told me I was extremely healthy (I'm guessing for a girl my size?) and that the only nutrients I am lacking is a few of the B vitamins and vitamin D, from lack of sun. The one bad news he told me was that I have too much caffeine in me and it is causing my bones to pop and joints to loosen. I forgot to mention that I am totally addicted to Energy drinks. He suggested a supplement called Tamusaki, which is carbonized bamboo and a multi vitamin. Each I have to take 3 times a day. He put absolutely no pressure on me to purchase the supplements, but told me if I wanted to feel better and have more energy that I should try them. So I bought the 2 he suggested and have been taking them for the last 4 days. Can't tell a huge difference, but he said it would take about a month. This is what I mean, you think that one day a Dr. is going to magically make everything click, and tell you "No, the binge eating isn't what is making you fat, you're just missing some B Vitamins!" I take a pill, and the weight magically melts off my body. When will I learn that its never gonna happen? And there will be a day when a Dr. says that I am unhealthy and I have serious health problems, or worse, you waited to long to get healthy so you are now unable to have children.
No more depressing thoughts! As my hypno-therapist says, I need to learn to validate myself. This week she spoke to the inner saboteur in me. The one that when everything is in sync does something to sabotage the good I am doing for myself. Sally told me that I need to recognize what the saboteur needs and give her a new job description. When in a hypnotic state she asked her what she was being denied of, and the first thing that came to mind was Validation, the second was power and the third was control. After delving deeper into all three of those feelings she had me think of ways that I could re-direct those feelings into something positive. I can validate myself and love myself, and not wait for everyone around me to validate the way I look. I can use power to exercise and make my body and mind strong. I can use control to control my eating. Wht a great session I had with her!
The point is that I feel stronger this week. I may not have ost a lot of weight, but I'm getting in tune with myself and working out some issues that could help me get to my weight loss goal.
I'll stop my rant now!

Seriously, what a long-winded rant.

I have a bad habit of putting off going to bed when Aaron's not around, so I figured I would blog. lol

I haven't weighed myself and I haven't tracked and I have dieted at all this week. Next week though, it's all starting again. This week was a test. For myself - to see if I could handle it w/o tracking and all that stuff. I can tell that my weight is up - way up. And plus, I feel like I am giving myself free reign to eat whatever I want b/c "who's gonna know?" kinda thing. I failed my test to be sure and fell right back into my old eating habits. But I guess I'm just not in a place mentally yet to restrain myself from my bad habits w/o keeping them in check. Does that make sense?

Anyway, Aaron gets home on Sunday, Monday I'm having a steriod injection into my back and I'll be out of commision for Monday, but I'm hoping that Tuesday I'll be able to start going back to the gym. I talked w/Aaron tonight about it and I am making the committment to go to the gym, even if I can't take the girls yet. I'll just have to go when they're in bed or Aaron will have to keep them. But I've got to start getting back there! Also, I'm making a new committment to tracking whatnot too once I start going back to the gym. Or even before - we'll see.

To tell the truth, I've been in a kinda depressed place yesterday and today. Maybe this is not the place to share this, but I'm a pretty open person. Besides, Maureen is the only one that I haven't met or known since we were practically embroyos.

So Thursday morning at my ortho apt the dr was telling me that with my disk problems and whatnot, having more children is pretty risky for me. I could injure my back worse. I could cause permanent leg weakness, loss of feeling, etc b/c I have all this disk fluid seeping into my nerve canal in my spine. Of course, it's all just a hypothesis and a gamble. But nonetheless, it's been hard to absorb for me.

So what do I do when I'm depressed or stressed or don't know what to do? I eat. I realize this about me. I know I do it, but the last couple of days, I just haven't cared. I suppose it's kinda like those people who are on oxygen that still continue to smoke. I don't mean to sound so negative on here - that's not how I like to be viewed I suppose. And I will cope and face up to whatever it is. I will get my eating under control and start exercising again and lose the weight that I have gained in the last week or so because I know that I can do it. And I know I should. And I know how. And damn it, I'm worth it. Ok, that sounded a little "Lifetime" movie-ish or Biggest Loser-ish, but what I'm meaning, w/o being cheesey or cliche, is that I wasted enough of my life being fat and I'm not going back there again. There were too many things that I missed out on or too many unhappy days as it is, so I'm gonna suck it up and fix it. I just have/had to give myself some time to grieve I suppose. It stinks that after losing all this weight and coming so far (like 80 lbs for those of you who are new), that how I grieve and cope with stuff is still by EATING. How messed up. lol

Anyway, each day is new. Tomorrow my goals are to get rid of the cookies that I made today. ANd not by eating them, lol. Drink lots of water, get out of the house and do some stuff that does not involve eating.

Molly's Friday

Today I'm at 170.4, which is down 1 pound from Monday. It's up .8 from my Tuesday low, but I'm ok with that. I didn't do very well eating-wise the last two days and my period came yesterday and still have this annoying cold. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm happy I lost something over the course of the week, but I'm not surprised it wasn't a bigger loss.

Goals for today:

drink water
track calories

I was thinking I might do the elliptical after work tonight, but I feel tired and congested and I think I will continue to hold off for another day or two. My cough is pretty much gone, but I would hate to over do it exercising and have it come back. I just want to be healthy.

So, this morning I got up and weighed myself and it was 215.6. I wandered around the house for awhile, and then weighed myself again and it was 215.0! Is it cheating? possibly. Do I care? NO I am taking it! Whooo hooo! I am so excited I get to buy my makeup! Whoo hoooo!

Goals for today:

Track food
follow exercise plan
Stay under control at b-day party on Saturday!

Thursday evening

Things went well today. NO SUGAR whoo hooo! Really did want these chocolate chip walnut cookies I saw in Safeway. Didn't buy any. I went and swam for 30 minutes and then tracked. Once I put in my food for the day and then my swimming, I can eat 1,160 more calories!! I found that amusing.

I didn't make it to the 96 oz. of water. I drank 67 oz. I've got to step that up. Thanks for listening everyone.

LiveWell Colorado

I don't know if you all have heard of the LiveWell program, but it's a state program with local partners focused on healthy living. I signed up for the Mesa County 2010 LiveWell Challenge and they sent me a packet including a calandar with healthy lifestyle related local events and a discount card. Also they have challenges that you can take regarding healthy eating, exercising, etc. I'm still trying to figure out how it all works, but the discount card in itself I thought was worth the few minutes it takes to sign up. There's discounts at local restraunts and stores. And did I mention it's free?

Here's a link to the LiveWell website that has a list of the local programs:

http://www.livewellcolorado.org/community-initiatives/livewell-colorado-communitie-5

And here's a link to Mesa County Livewell program. For some reason I didn't see it on the list of communities: livewell.org

Sorry, I can't get the hyperlinks to work, so you're going to have copy and paste the web addresses if you're interested.

Molly's Thursday

I'm feeling a lot better today. Of course, I always feel better in the morning than in the evening, so we'll see. I haven't worked out in almost a week and I really would like to. However, I mostly want to get over this annoying cold, so I'm going to hold off. I really think rest is what my body needs. I'm working tomorrow evening, so I might do the elliptical afterward, but we'll see.

Goals for today:

drink 3 bottles of water
track calories
take a walk

sparkpeople

I have been checking out the sparkpeople.com website and it's pretty cool, it is a website that gives you all kinds of information about health and lifestyle change. They offer menus based on your goals and calorie requirements. They give you a workout plan and exercises to do. I have been feeling like I wasn't getting enough exercise, so I am trying to do the exercise they recommend. If you were interested in following their menu it would be awesome because you can print out a grocery list for the week and stuff. It seems to me if I was following their menu, I would spend a million dollars on food.

One of my goals is to journal every day. I am using the blog as my journal time.

Oh BTW, I weighed this morning and my weight was 215.8, hopefully I can drop the other .8 today!!!!

Have a good day everyone!

Thursday morning

I have been told I have gout. An ailment I thought was strictly for old drunken men. I was horrified. I saw my cousins boy friend's big toe when he was having a gout flair up and it had a thing that looked like a mini erupting volcano on his toe. I've never experienced that. Anyway, I have refused to take the gout medicine. Well, my doctor suggested in an email that I get on the gout medicine. We decided for six weeks, I would exercise 30 minutes a day, drink lots of water, keep the sugars down, especially no high fructose corn syrup, and eat healthy. All of this without the medicine. On March 17th, I will have blood drawn and check my uric acid levels. If they are high, like they are now, for six weeks I will do all of the above and take the medicine. At the end of the six weeks, we will check the uric acid levels and see if they are down.

Now, I don't want to take gout medicine. Have read about kidney damage, etc. SO, my challenge is on! I'll need your help. I am frightened. I like sugar, I like all kinds of things that are bad for me. At work we always have something not healthy to munch on. I am not known for my stamina. Thank you all.

Recieving Email about Comments

I felt like I was missing things and comments, so I went into the administrator account and I am having it email me when someone does a new post or a new comment. We can have up to 10 email addresses, so if anyone is interested let me know and I can add them (or if you have the administrator info you can add yourself!)

It's a Ground Hog's Day Miracle!

Ok, I know Tuesday isn't an official weigh-in day, but I keep getting better results on Tuesday. And I was so excited this morning that I just had to share: 169.6!! That's a 1.8 lb loss from yesterday. And I have no idea why. I think I drank maybe a cup and a half of water yesterday. And I had french toast for dinner at 10:00 at night. Maybe coughing burns a ton of calories? :-) Whatever the reason, the trick now will be to sustain the weightloss through Friday and beyond. (to infinity and beyond!) Tomorrow will be tricky - I'm going to a funeral in Glenwood and there will be lots of comfort food and emotions.

Anyway, having that number dip below 170 was very energizing. Not so much literally, but mentally. I actually kind of want to make an effort to make smart choices. Crazy, I know!

Goals for today:

drink water
track calories

Well, I'm back and going to give another try. I've got to start making time to blog, just like making time to exercise and prepare healthy foods.

I walked 4 miles on Saturday and I went to the gym on Sunday. I weighed this morning and I was 179.2 lbs, down 1.1 lb. I'm happy about that. I'm planning on adding two more exercise days during the week.

Oh, one more thing, I got a pair of the Shape Ups walking shoes. I wear them all day long and am hoping that over time they'll help shape and tone my legs. I haven't felt any soreness in my legs, but believe it or not I've definitely felt them working my core. I think it keeps you off balance a bit and you have use your core muscles to steady yourself. We'll see over the long run if and how much it helps.

I'm making small changes and moving forward.

Goals- Drink three bottles of a water, eat 3 fruits a day and add two more exercise days to my week.

Ugh, Monday, why are you not Friday? Or Sunday?

I don't have much news to report. I ate bad this weekend, well, just not good. It's not like I went and ordered pizza or anything. The biggest thing is that I drank like 8 glasses of water throughout Fri, Sat, and Sun. I'm trying to drink lots to today.

I'm pretty much just lacking motivation. It's always harder for me when I can't work out. I went for an MRI on my back this morning but won't have any results until Wed afternoon when I meet with the ortho guy again. I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels.

Anyway, Aaron doesn't get home until Sunday afternoon. It seems like this past week has been a month.

Molly's Monday: Up, Up and Away

I'm up .4 today to 171.4. I have a nasty cough and I'm pretty sure I would be up a lot more if I hadn't coughed so hard that I threw up a couple of times. I've never coughed that hard before. It's awful. And it's even worse when you've just eaten half a box of reduced fat white cheddar cheeze-its that haven't had a chance to be digested and the white cheddar powder comes out your nose. Good times. And probably too much information. I guess that's what I get for eating that stuff.

Goals for today:
drink water
track calories, stay under 1200

Up Again - Mallory's Monday

I seriously need to figure out what is going on. I ate pretty well, was within my calories and carbs, friday I was over on sodium but for the most part I did really well this weekend. I was 219.0 this morning up 1.6 pounds. I am frustrated and I am telling myself what's the point in denying myself if I am not going to lose anyway. That's not true though, I just need to keep it up, get some exercise and I will be fine.

Today's goals:

Drink 4 bottles of water.
Stay under 1300 cal
get exercise

I heard about this website called sparkpeople from this girl I worked with at the child care conference. I think I will check it out and maybe it will give me more motivation in the exercise department!

Monday Morning

Good news and bad news. The good news is that I went 7 days without any sugar, except what is in grapefruit, oranges, apples, etc. Very proud of myself. I don't think I've done that is years. The bad news is that I weigh 184.8 pounds. Up .8 from Friday. Celebrate the good, right. Have a good day everyone.