No Discouragement

260.8, and I'm ok with that. I started this week out strong, and just as I said things have quieted down at work they pick right back up. I have had a constant headache since Tuesday. I'm guessing it got busier because the weight loss gods knew that I made goals and they were trying to throw a wench in my system. The important part is to not get discouraged. So far, so good, not discouraged and this weekend I plan to make some prepackaged soups that I can take to work with me, that seems to help. Like Molly, I think a plan is the best way to keep yourself on track. I have to schedule out what I'm going to eat during the day and then I won't stray. Also, no candy on halloween. I didn't even buy any to pass out to kids. I'm going to hide in my room and pretend I'm not home. I know, that's a little evil, but whatever!

My Friday and My Changes

My weight today: 175.00, down 2.8 from Monday. I am so relieved. I cannot tell you guys how much I was dreading getting on that scale. I have been very careful about what I eat this week and have had at least 8 glasses of water everyday. I've been somewhat active, but not overly so. I just wasn't convinced that it would make a difference. I'm so glad it did!

I also made some changes this week:

1. No more half and half in my coffee. I miss it, like an a abused person misses their abuser. It's a toxic relationship. I love you half and half and all you do it hurt me. Goodbye.

2. I changed my livestrong calorie tracking goal from wanting to lose 1.5 pounds per week, to 2 pounds per week. I also changed by weight because it was 6 lbs. higher than when I originally started livestrong. Goodbye extra 250 calories a day. I will miss you, but my thighs won't.

3. This, I think, is the biggest one. I changed my attitude. For awhile now, weight loss has been something I know I need to do and kind of begrudgingly tried to do, but my heart hasn't been in it the last few months. But this week I decided it's something I really want to do. And I want to find ways to not feel like I'm deprived and missing out on good foods because that's one of my biggest weaknesses.

4. I set some goals. I told you all about the short term goal: shed 10 pounds by Jan. 1. My new long term goal: be under 150. I've only been there a couple times in the last ten years, but I know it's possible. I took the Livestrong dare to lose weight and set my goal at 145, giving myself 5 lbs of leeway.

So, here's to a great weekend! Hope you all have a happy and fun Halloween!

We Can Do This!!!!!

Frustrated on Friday

So EVERYDAY this week I have tracked on livestrong.com, every day I have been under on my calories, everyday I have been right near 2000 mg on sodium, I have been at like 50-75% of what livestrong recommends for carbs. I have been drinking at least 6 glasses of water plus my tea every day. And usually it's more like 12. I have gone and worked out, I have worked in my yard, I have shoveled snow.

I have my calorie calculator set on lightly Active and I KNOW I was more than lightly active this week. I also have it set for 3 pounds a week. So when I got on the scale I was expecting at least a 2 pound loss in 5 days. Instead it was .4 pounds of a loss. .4 pounds for someone my size is NOTHING. Seriously if I lost .6 pounds per week for the next year I wouldn't even be under 200 pounds.

Ug, if anyone has suggestions other than, "well you have to take in less calories than you work off" which is what I have heard from doctors. I would love to hear them! Maybe I am just having one of those weeks and I need to be really good for more than a week but honestly I was hoping for a really good weigh in to inspire me to not suck it up for Halloween. Ah well, I guess I just need to work harder and be more careful.

So my official weight this friday was 236.4. Ug, I just got on the scale again to see if it was lower and it was 238.o AAAAHHHHH!

Shrimp Tacos

In Cabo San Lucas (where my dad lives) there is a taco shop that is right on the beach, so you can sit in a lounge chair soaking up the sun while the waiters bring you tacos and margaritas. Justin and I were thinking about those tacos and the beach and decided to try to make them. They have a habanero salsa that is seriously the best thing I have ever eaten so it was missing that but other wise I would say we nailed it! Here is what we did:

Marinate the shrimp for 10 minutes in:

we used medium shrimp
2T lime juice
1t seasoning salt
1t mexican spice
1T olive oil
sautee the shrimp in the marinade for a few minutes until it is tightly curled

Toppings
monterrey jack cheese
lettuce
pico de gallo with cabbage
sliced avocado

So with 2 tacos with puro maiz tortillas which are like 60 cal and 12 g of carbs plus an ounce of cheese 2 tbls of pico, 1/2 an avocado and lettuce the meal was 328 calories and 26 g of carbs.

Long Time No Post.

Ya, I haven't posted anything since September 11th. I'm totally on top of it. If you haven't heard, my work life has been crazy and it is just now starting to calm down. My diet has been crazy as well and unfortunately as of Monday I was up to 263.8. After some miracle of eating I lost 3 pounds overnight and I weigh today 260.8. I don't want to be obsessive about weighing myself and so I am just going to be weighing myself once a week and I am rededicating myself to posting every Friday. Otherwise, I'll go crazy!

I have recently taken a step back to re-evaluate goals and life in general. Vegetarianism is out for right now. I was having to go to the store like every other day and one week I spent almost $200 in food. The husband wasn't too happy about that. I felt that I was constantly preparing food and worrying about what I was eating. I still believe that a Vegetarian lifestyle is a better way of life, and one day it will happen. For right now I am starting small. I've been slowly cutting out Dairy products, my body does not digest them properly and I just feel better when I'm not eating them. I think that is a good place to start.

I can't make it to the gym for some reason? Every day I set my alarm for 5:00 am and everyday I change it to 7. This is a pretty weird thing for me because I have always been a morning person and lately I haven't been able to pull myself out of bed. After looking through a few other warning signs I am going to be seeing the Dr to determine if I have Type 2 Diabetes. I got tested about 3 years ago and they said that I was almost there and if I didn't lose weight it would turn into that. Don't you think that is enough to scare a person into losing weight? What is wrong with me?

I have a friend that told me I need to do positive affirmations. Talk positively to myself daily. So I have this standing mirror in my bedroom that I wrote some positive affirmations with a erasable marker on. She said that the phrases should be in the present and that I should put them somewhere I would see them all the time. The mirror was the perfect place, I have read them so many times! Here is what I wrote:

*You are losing weight
*You are exercising 5 times a week
*You are controlling your eating and portion control
*You are taking control of your body

This is my goal this week. To read these affirmations every time I pass this mirror. Its a small goal but a good one.
Short term goal: 235 pounds by January 1st 2010
Long term goal: 200 by April 1st 2010

Happy Chubster or Skinny Bitch

So, I think we all know I'm on an anti-depressant. I take Lexapro, which, it turns out has a possible side effect of increased appetite and weight gain. I was just reading up on it on Livestrong.com (they have everything on there!). My doctor may have told me about this side effect, but honestly I don't remember. Anyway, there was a discussion about weight gain from anti-depressants and I read part of it. One woman commented that she and a few friends, all on various anti-depressants, including Lexapro, had all gained an average of 40 pounds. So they decided against doctors' advice to wean themselves off. She said she had lost around 20 pounds without changing anything else. She also said she would "rather be a skinny bitch than a happy chubster." Just for the record, I think that's insane. I would MUCH rather be a "happy chubster" than a skinny, miserable, depressed bitch. Been there, done that. It sucked.

But the point is, I now realize that I have to work harder and be more diligent about my eating. Like I was doing last spring. Because I can't quit my anti-depressant. So, if I'm going to reach my goal of losing 10 pounds my Jan. 1, then I need to step it up.

So, goals for today:

Track on Livestrong
Eat 1500 cals
Create a weight lifting regime using my dad's bowflex
Drink 3 bottles of water
Go for a walk

Tuesday Goals

So Molly setting a long term goal for herself made me think that I need goals too. So I am setting a short term and a long term goal for myself. My short term goal is to weigh 230 which is 6.8 pounds and is close to what I was at our reunion. My long term goal is again to be under 200 pounds. I don't know if it's just because I have been eating better and thus feeling better, but being in the 230's seems a lot better than the 240's.

Ok so today's goals:

Track on livestrong and keep it under 1400 calories
Drink 3 bottles of water
Walk
No carbs after 4pm (let's try this one again shall we?)

I Second that Ugh

I am in a bad mood. I can't help it, I just woke up this way. At 5:45 a.m. For no reason. It's not like I have sick kids (or any kids) or any reason to be up that early. It's dark and cold and I am not a morning person. And my brain started spiraling around all of these stupid thoughts about stuff that doesn't matter and makes me feel unhappy. So, I had the brilliant idea to get up and weigh myself because I was sure that I had lost at least a little weight. I would have even been relatively happy with not gaining. But no, of course that stupid scale (because it's obviously the scale's fault) told me I had gained a pound. WTF??? And to top it all off I discovered five big, red, somewhat painful bug bites on my back that were not there the night before. So, I slept on a spider or something and it got mad and bit the crap out of me. That's just fantastic. I am so annoyed. And the cat wouldn't let me pet him. Little punk bastard.

So, anyway, I've been thinking a lot about my motivation, or lack there of. The last time I felt really motivated was before our reunion. And I've realized that what it's going to come down to for me, is 1) setting a goal; and 2) making conscious decisions throughout the day to not to put food and/or beverages that I don't need and aren't healthy into my body. I just have to make that commitment to myself. Because even if I were to be held accountable to someone else - like a trainer or dietitian - if I don't make the commitment to myself I won't follow through. Because there are no real consequences. So, here is my goal: LOSE 10 Pounds by January 1st, 2010. (it was going be higher, but with the holidays and everything I didn't want to set myself up for failure. I love Thanksgiving. And Christmas cookies. And pie.)

Focus. Lose 10 lbs. by Jan. 1, 2010. Totally doable. I am making a commitment to myself to do this for both my physical and mental health. You guys are my witnesses. Suckers. Just kidding. I should never get up before 6 a.m.

Gearing up for a great week

So, I finally convinced my mom that she should not bring junk food into the house and we ate really well on Saturday and did our grocery shopping for the week. So I have food in my house and I did pretty good yesterday too. I didn't drink as much water as I should have but I did have two water bottles yesterday. I tracked my calories this weekend and did pretty good.

So when I weighed myself this morning I was 236.8. Yay! I am so so so excited! I think I made it over my time of lameness and not caring without gaining all my weight back. So today, I am serious!

Goals:
Eat 1400 cal
Track on livestrong
drink 3 bottles of water
benefiber as need for fullness
exercize
I am also going to try not to eat carbs after 4pm but that makes me sad so we will see!

Ugh - is vacation over?

Ugh. It seems that I've been on 'vacation' for quite some time when it comes to the gym and eating good. When I don't feel good, I don't worry about it I guess... and it's been one cold after the other. I find it's a lot more difficult to eat right if I'm not working out too. I hope to go back on Monday, but I'm thinking that I'm not going to take the girls b/c of all this stupid cold and flu stuff going around, so it'll depend on if I can get Aaron to watch them while I go.

Anyway, I weighed myself earlier in the week (and then ate a bunch of crap I shouldn't have) but it was 159.4. That's almost a 5 lb gain and a 7.4 overall gain from June. I suppose it could be worse, but it's so close to 160 that it freaks me out. I really need to get back in the gym. I'm also thinking about ways I can find to be accountable to someone else for my eating and working out - like a personal trainer or something. I'm going to check into it at the gym and see if they do just 'check ins' when it comes to eating and weight. Hmmmm.....

Friday Thoughts

So I have been thinking a lot about if I can lose as much weight as I want to without joining a group or a weight loss club like Slim4life or LA Weightloss. I would like to think that I can do it, however I just don't know if I will. I don't know if I need the pressure of someone looking at my food diary and saying, um well you know that peanut butter isn't on your diet right? That's why you didn't lose two pounds this week.

I have been doing some research and came up with a group called TOPS (Taking off pounds Sensibly) and they are basically a weight loss support group. Has anyone heard of them?

Back on the Wagon

Today is Friday, so I weighed myself for the first time in almost a month: 176.6. It could be worse. I just spent almost 3 weeks in Denver eating and drinking and being generally merry. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't gotten this lovely cough that I can't seem to shake, my weight would be much higher. It's just that nothing really tastes great and my appetite isn't what it normally is. Even things I usually love seem to be only blah. It's kind of annoying. And working out is kind of impossible because everytime I start to do something even remotely active I end up in a gigantic coughing fit. So, I'm pretty much limited to walking, which is actually really good for you, so there's that.

Anyway, here's my goals for today:

track calories
go for a walk
drink at least 2 water bottles

Getting myself back on Track

So our company is gone and my house is back to normal. I haven't been blogging for awhile and I think that I want to start. I have been thinking a lot about what I am going to do. My friend Bridget started Slim 4 Life two weeks ago and has lost 13 pounds. I don't know if I can do this without going in and talking to someone. I need to be accountable to someone and I am not sure if this blog is enough. I do know that if I am not at least trying to lose I will gain so here's to not gaining and hopefully losing. Today's goals:

Exercise
Track calories
Drink 4 bottles of water

My weight today is 240.0. I have been trying to eat well, but not tracking. I am going to have a good weekend and track what I eat!

Goals:

Drink water

Track

chirp, chirp

Things have been kinda quiet around here. I haven't been posting really, Molly's in Denver, Carrie's swamped with work.... so I thought I'd get around to posting. I made a resolution to not be on the computer except when Brielle is napping (b/c what else am I going to do? clean? That's crazy talk!) and I'm surprised with not only how much I'm getting done around the house, but also how much stuff on the computer that I'm able to do. I even posted to our family blog today.

Ok, I weighed Monday and it was not pretty. (Is the scale # ever "pretty?") 157.6 Which is two pounds exactly up from Friday. I can't say that I was too surprised. The zero water, the cake and cookies probably all ganged up and conspired with the scale.

I weighed today and I was at 156.0 which was actually better than I thought it'd be since my water intake has been terrible. I find I really hate to drink water if I'm not working out. On the other hand, my soda (diet, of course) intake has been very high! Go ME! (oh, you mean that's not necessarily a good thing? Darn.)

Good news is that the cake is almost gone. I'm off to make Aaron eat the last piece before I do. I've only had one today and one yesterday... and one the day before. And the day before. Instead of berating myself for eating cake, I'm choosing to pat myself on the back for only eating one piece instead of one piece with each meal ;)

Ok, I'm going to stop ranting. Wahoo - next week I'll be in Denver with Mallory and Molly! Too bad it's TOO FREAKING COLD for tennis :( Boo.

So I still haven't gotten back to where I was when I was really eating good. I have been eating things unthinkingly (animal crackers) and not drinking enough water.

Todays goals are going to be simple:

Drink 3 bottles of water

Track Food

The Dreaded Scale Attacks!

So obviously it was not good. I drank zero water didn't eat well etc. 242.0. I am pretty sure I didn't actually gain 4 pounds in 3 days. Hmmm, goals?

Drink H2O, track, blah blah blah.

Molly's Friday Weight

According to my scale, which I'm pretty sure is out to get me, I'm up a pound to 174.2. But, whatever. I tried to be good this week, and during the day I was. It's when I'm still awake at 11:30 and I get hungry again, or bored or whatever and I eat cheese and crackers or something else equally carbo-licious/fat-o-licious.

But I'm going to Denver for a couple weeks and at least for the first 6 days I will be staying with other people and will not be scavaging in their cabinets in the middle of the night. The house-sitting thing could prove to be a challenge, as I have a tendancy to eat when I'm alone. Apparently I'm only good - that's a relative term - at this lifestyle change business when other people are watching... But I have some people (including Mallory, yay!) I want to see and I'm going to try to keep myself in check. There's a lake with a path around it right by where I'll be, so I'm going to try to go for a walk everyday. My knee is hurting, so no running for me. I don't know if I'll have daily internet access, so may or may not be part of the weigh-ins for the next few weeks. But, I'm still going to weigh and keep a food journal and I really think that will help.

Goals for the next 2 weeks:

Don't go crazy
keep a food journal
take a walk every day

Drink my water

weigh on Mondays and Fridays
MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES.

Finally Friday!

So today is Friday and I went to the grocery store last night so now we have food! I weighed myself this morning and I am 238.0 which is down .2 from last week. I was not really expecting to be less, so that's good. I need to not fall apart over the weekend and it'll be all good.

goals:

eat regularly
drink water
stay under 1400 cal

It's Friday, again.

Is it bad that I've already forgotten the exact number and I weighed myself like 2 minutes ago? Yes, it is. Ah well. It was 155.6 or 155.4, idk. I'm good with that. I even had brownies yesterday. Then I gave them away to my mom so I wouldn't eat the rest of the pan! lol

In other news, I am sick now too, so that rounds out my family. Wahoo (read sarcastically please!).