Rough Days/Possible Break Through

So I have been doing yoga with this book that I have right? And for the last couple of days my muscles have been sore and my back hurts. I thought I was getting sick because I just was feeling generally crappy. Then JoyAnn (the lady whose kids I watch) sent me an email saying that she can't afford to pay me. So now (yesterday) I am worried about money and I feel like crap, and I am worried about Justin and the kids are screaming. And I found a weekend job that I would like to apply for but I can't cause I have three kids hanging on me. And man, I was just like F-it. I am eating something. So I am wandering around my house trying to justfy eating something I know I shouldn't and the front door opens and it's Justin. Early. Thank god. I said will you go with me to apply for this job and just generally get me out of the house. So we pack the kids up and we are driving. And it's better because I know he isn't going to let me eat something I would regret later.

But we start talking about it and about how I need to stick with it and just work through the times I am not into it as much because what it is going to take is long term commitment to eating a sensible diet. And that it's not going to happen overnight and if I get frustrated and quit, it's only going to make me 1)Rebound 2)Feel bad about myself. And I felt better.

Then we came home and we were late so Osina's dad had to wait (well he was a little early but sometimes he is) and we had a fabulous dinner and I was a little bit overly full. But then I started looking at the house which was a mess, and I didn't get to take a nap, and all the other stuff from earlier. And there were pizza commercials on T.V. and while I was not hungry I kinda wanted to suggest we order some. So we got the kids in bed and I was thinking and thinking and I was tired. Finally after everyone was away, I sat down to think about what was really wrong and I realized that I was so unhappy because I was not allowing myself to stress eat. I wasn't hungry, but I wanted to shove food in my mouth left and right because I was stressed.

So I went and talked to Justin about what I was thinking, and we talked about JoyAnn and I cried about all that was going on. And I felt better. Talking about it helped me put it in perspective and acknowledge what was going on. And this morning I feel great!!!!

Today's Goals:

Track food
Exercize
Drink 4 bottles of water