So I've been having a little mini pity party for myself lately and it NEEDS to end. Aaron left for his trip to Manila (and Toyko) today and I've been feeling sorry for myself about that. Then there's my back. My dumb, stupid, damned back. So every once in awhile it goes out and I can't do much. Sometimes it fixes itself quickly, other times not. Most the time it just hurts in the morning and then it's over. However, I pulled it out (by sneezing of all dumb things) the other day and it's been terrible ever since. I can't lean over, twist, or sit down w/o it hurting and then when I go to stand up, I'm kinda like the hunchback of Notre Dam for a few minutes before I can fully erect myself. Anyway, I saw the orthopedic back surgeon yesterday and to make a long story short, there's basically nothing that I can do about it. My disks in my lower vertebre got squished b/c Sophie's birth was so tramatic and fast and he said I probably have a tear in at least one of them. Super. I can get an MRI done so they can make sure and then figure out what pain management options are available to me. Super. It's so disheartening to have the dr tell you that you're 29 and will most likely always have back problems/pain and that it will only get worse as you age.... so last night I had Qdoba... and some cinammon bears. And the problem is, is that I just want to continue to binge eat. But I weighed myself this morning and I was at 154.6. Damn again. So that's 6.4 lbs up from my lowest. Damn again.
So I'm trying to get back on track today, although I'm still not sure if I'll actually do it. (Isn't that horrible? I can't even resolve myself to get on track!?) Anyway, my goals are a little paired down b/c of that.
Goals:
4 bottles of water.
Clean the house.
Make good meals (and now that Aaron's gone, I'll have leftovers to use for other days, so that's a plus)
Don't scream at the children. This one might be hard as Brielle was up for almost 2 hrs last night.
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Brielle and I should hang out - I haven't been sleeping through the night lately either.
ReplyDeleteHow long is Aaron going to be gone?
That's a bummer about your back. You would think with all the crazy cool things modern medicine can do, there would be something they could do to help besides pain medication. Have you tried yoga? I have a friend that has a bad back and he claims it's done great things for him. Of course, I don't know what exactly is wrong with his back, but I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with child birth.... Anyway, I'd be happy to join you for a yoga class one of these days. I've been thinking about trying it again.
I've been thinking about trying yoga too for the simple fact that I thought it might help my back. Heck, it can't hurt... well, I suppose it *could*. However, I'm pretty sure I'm the most inflexible person ev-ar so I was planning on trying to find a dvd online that was for back pain people.
ReplyDeleteAaron will only be gone for about a week and half so it's not that bad, just a precursor of what this year will be. And it wouldn't be that bad if my back wasn't out. I feel like I'm 80 years old :(