So, last night I had a total break down. I am not even sure why. My house is never clean enough, I had gotten up at 6 to take my dad to the airport, spent all day working (cooking etc.) for Justin's friend and his wife to come over while Justin and his mom were sleeping. I went over on my calories, which I wasn't too worried about because I have been doing really good. But I also went over on my sodium. Way over. Which I knew meant weight gain for me. Justin's mom has been here since Thursday, which was going well until yesterday. Justin slept from 2 ish I think until Will and Nicole got here at 5 and man did he feel guilty and apoligized when he woke up. Which was nice, at least he realized it was messed up without me yelling at him. And I could have woken him up. So I won't go on and on about my mother in law problems, lets just say that yesterday was not a good day.
I just don't know if things will ever change. One of my main problems in my house are the dishes. They are like a monster that is out of control. The toys for the kids I can handle, the clutter, the laundry all of that is fine but the dishes haunt me. I just cant seem to get them done. I also want so badly to be under 200 pounds that I am scared to backslide. I am scared to let up because I know that is how my personality is. I get all gung ho for a while and then I lose interest and quit and gain the weight back. Ug, so when Justin came to bed I was in there sobbing, and we had a long talk. He told me I shouldn't feel like I don't do enough with the dishes etc. Ha, never once did he say he would help take over the dishes. He doesn't feel guilt over the dishes being left.
Ah, well thanks for listening to my crazy person ramblings, today is our anniversary and I needed to work some things out in my mind. I just want to have a good day today, we are going to The Melting Pot for dinner which is fondue and I plan on enjoying our meal there. Half of a dinner for 2 is 1800 cal, so I just plan on being really good today and then enjoying myself. I may wait until Tuesday for my official weigh in this week! Then again I might not!
So todays goals:
Go workout (I am going right now while everyone is asleep, yay!)
Take healthy snacks to Estes Park
Drink water
Sorry, everyone about the rambling! I hope everyone has a great day!
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Dude, I don't think you need to worry about rambling/venting on this blog. I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but I feel like we all go through things and if getting them off your chest here helps you feel better and maybe keeps you from eating a bag of chips or whatever, then vent away!
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you for going to workout. I hope you had a good day and a happy anniversary! And I hope you were able to enjoy the Melting Pot. Fondue is so great!
And I really think you will be able to stick with the healthy lifestyle/weightloss thing this time. It sounds like you're doing pretty well and being realistic about it. So keep it up!!
And I hope your mother-in-law goes home soon. :)
Goals accomplished! Melting pot enjoyed, workout done, calories counted, water drank. So half of the meal at The Melting Pot was 1800 calories by its self. My calorie goal is 1400 calories and so by the time I had factored in my exercise and the rest of the food for the day I was at 1751. So I felt good about that.
ReplyDeleteAnd also, anniversaries don't count for calories ;) ha haa haa - Aaron always offers to 'help me work off' those extra calories...
ReplyDeleteHaving company at the house is always stressful, especially when it's your hubby's family and not yours. I hope you're doing ok! ((hugs!)) I can't believe you had WIll and Nicole over while your MIL was still there. It's a lot of stress! Deep breaths - she'll be gone soon! (maybe not soon enough, but soon)
ANd I think you're doing great at keeping up with healthy snacks and eating! You're doing *great!* It certainly is a process and will take awhile, but you're on the right track and you'll get there! And Molly's right - don't worry about venting. That's one of the reasons we have this here!