So I weighed myself a week ago. I haven't posted because I have been depressed and hiding. My weight was 245. As I was looking at my journal this is EXACTLY where I was January 28th when I started my written food journal. And up 26 pounds from two months ago. Seriously, what were all of those months for? I am not sure why I do this to myself. Since last week I have been doing even worse than before eating m&m's with Ryan when he goes potty, crackers, bread, pasta, regular and diet soda and when I weighed myself this morning I was down to 244.6.
I need to quit feeling sorry for myself and do what I know I need to do.
So here is what I know:
My body feels better when I eat well and exercise
I feel better about my self when I am doing what I should.
I don't want to be fat for the rest of my life.
I want to teach my kids healthy habits and to be active.
I enjoy the time to myself when I exercise.
I don't understand why I don't just do it.
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Dude, I know exactly what you're talking about. You work so hard for a few months, it pays off, so why do you stop? I've been hiding and feeling sorry for myself lately, too. (although not all of it is weight related) And the other day I was watching something and the girl was talking about trying. About how you're never going to get anywhere if you don't even try. That really hit home for me, on several fronts. So, my new mantra is Just Try. Even if it's taking 15 minutes to walk around the block, that's still exercise.
ReplyDeleteAnd also, what is the magical power of m&ms? I love them and have been eating them non-stop lately.
M&M's ug, I can't stay away. I should give Ryan chips or something when he goes potty. I don't really like chips but I'm sure I'd eat them anyway.
ReplyDeleteI have been using our bank account as another excuse why I wasn't eating well. After I paid the bills I needed to pay last payday, I had 3 dollars in my account. I went to the grocery store today and got quite a few chicken breasts and veggies and some eggs, so now I don't have any excuse not to try.
I hate that good for you food is so much more expensive than bad for you food (and all food is way more expensive then it used to be). Plus, you have to actually cook it. I house sat for the Kollasch's for two weeks and the only healthy meals I ate were at my parents house a few times.
ReplyDeleteDoes Ryan have a healthy snack he really likes, like grapes or something?
I'm so sorry Mallory! It's funny - I've been hiding too. I think for me, when I don't see success, then I get frustrated and let it get to me and think "why am I even trying anymore?" So I continually bounce between the same freaking 5 pounds. Do you KNOW how many times I've lost and then gained those? ARRRRRR. And when I don't see success when I AM doing the right stuff, it's super hard for me to be motivated at all - especially in the diet area. I am at the gym twice a wk and tennis once a wk always, b/c I like it, but I would eat everything all the time if I could. In fact, just now, I needed something sweet (like I need a hole in my head!) and ate a couple marshmallows. I don't even LIKE marshmallows... well, I didn't use to anyway. Now I like anything with real sugar in it. :(
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