Serious Commitment

Ok, I am making a serious commitment here for all of you to witness. If by December 18th which is 7 weeks from now I haven't lost 14 pounds, which is a two pound a week loss, I am going to join a program that will help me to lose it. I am going to ask for the weight loss program as my gift from my family for Christmas. I really need to be serious and I think that two pounds per week is a reasonable goal. From today if I lose 14 pounds my weight will be 221.6.

Up and Down Week

My weight today is 173.8, down 1 exact pound! Yay! It's been a crazy week. I started out doing really well with the eating, calorie tracking, water drinking, etc. Then the last couple days I kinda gave up. Yesterday was particularly bad. I just stopped caring. I was feeling really sad about the whole grandma situation. And then I felt guilty for feeling sad because I feel like since I'm not super depressed anymore, then I'm not supposed to feel sad. And if I feel sad, obviously I'm letting everyone down. I know, it's doesn't make any sense and it's not true. And then of course I started thinking about other stuff that upsets me and it just turned into a giant one woman pity party. Lovely. But I got it out of my system through some major crying and eating of chocolate bars. Then I slept for 10 hours. That probably helped the most. Anyway, I wasn't sure what the scale was going to do today, but I was pleasantly surprised. So, onward and upward. Or whatever. My goals are the same as always.

Random things

I was reading our local newspaper and came across this quote that I really liked:

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other." Abraham Lincoln

It really made me think about all of my struggles and when I am not doing my best and a conversation that I had with Lori came to mind. We were talking about how much being skinny, thin, healthy matters and I told her that I didn't really ever think about being skinny just about not being fat. I think that the idea of even being normal (size 12 jeans or whatever) is so far out of the realm of my thoughts that I don't really want success. The idea is nice but it seems like it's so far away. So today's resolution is to imagine what success would mean to me. It would be a success to get to 200 but it wouldn't be done. I don't really even know what done would look like. 155 pounds would put me just inside "normal" for my bmi. Seriously what would I even look like at 155 pounds? I remember being in the 140's in early high school I don't know if I grew taller after that or not. How tall are you Molly?

The other thing I came across but now I cant find where I read it is that you should drink half of your weight of water a day so I weigh 235 so I should be drinking 117 ounces of water a day. Also that each glass of tea should be counted as 1/2 cup of water.

235.6 Whoo hooo!

Yay, I am so so so happy that I am down just a little more! I kinda think that there is a possibility that the scale is lying to me so I am just going to take it and run!
Todays goals:

eat well
drink water,
track food

Still sick... and now back up too.

So we've been sick FOREVER now. Seriously, this is over 2 wks now. I'm definitely feeling better than I was before, but not great. I have the cough from Hell and definitely a reduced lung capacity and I get tired pretty quickly. So, with the kids being sick, then going to Mallory's, then getting sick again, I haven't been to the gym in like a month. That's CRAZY! Anyway, b/c I was so sick for a week, I was back down to 157 (which isn't great, but it's a 2 lb loss or something like that). Well, this past week has not been good for me eating wise. With candy in the house, I've been eating it way too much. So this morning I was up to 159.4.

So here are my goals:
1. get feeling better
2. no candy
3. drink water (I've been terrible about this while I've been sick. If it wasn't tea, yes I know that's water, or pop, I haven't drank it)

When I get feeling better I'm GOING BACK TO THE GYM! I'm not sure if I'll take the girls back to the daycare there or not though. With the flu being so bad this year, I don't think I'll risk it. Aaron has said he'll help watch the girls so I can go every day, although I probably won't be able to go to my favorite classes and whatnot, but at least I'll be going.

Oh, and now our car is broken. Aaron replaced the starter yesterday, but that didn't fully fix it. Seriously, it's only a 2006. Anyway, hopefully we can get it fixed today or tomorrow so that I actually CAN go to the gym if I get feeling better.

It's a Dia de los Muertos Miracle!

174.8 - Down .2. I really thought I'd be up a couple pounds. I ate all my calories for the day on Saturday before I went to the halloween party next door. And yesterday I binge ate like crazy. My hormones will be taking the blame for that. I think my saving grace was the water. I drank 4 32 oz. bottles of water yesterday. I was so thirsty! I couldn't get enough.

Goals for today:

Drink 3 bottles of water
track calories
1400 calories
don't try eat my feelings away*

*We're moving my grandma into assisted living tomorrow. Today we're moving her furniture. This is hard for me and I'm really trying to not comfort myself with food.

Not even weighing myself

I ate candy, I drank very little water and I am totally not going to weigh myself!

My goals for today are:

Track the foods I eat
Drink water